mop the floors: the era of side quests is over

six months of side quests. “sands of time” or whatever.

On my flight to Providence, Rhode Island a couple weeks ago, I came to a realization: my era of side quests is over.

Side quests, in the context of video games, are small missions that are not directly tied to the main quest or storyline. They offer additional insight into the world of the game, exciting and useful rewards, and the perceived autonomy to make choices within the game.

I used to hate doing side quests in games. I always wanted to get to the point and win, but in life, what does it even mean to win? I’m certainly envious of those who do seem to know their “win” conditions, whether they be title, money, family, influence, or some combination. In reflection though, it doesn’t seem useful to think about life this binary of winning at all.

It seems impossible to know what the main quest actually is, and it’s difficult to say which actions we take belong to the story — in terms friends will scoff at: which dots will “connect backwards.”

Last December, when I left Scale, I knew I needed to do something different, but I definitely felt fear of committing to a main quest that wasn’t aligned. Also: Fuck the mundanity of grinding towards a nebulous future! Fuck the pursuit of ladderlike accomplishment! Fuck stability and certainty!

Actually though, “What the fuck am I doing?” was a common refrain in the last six months, as much as: “I’m in love with life!” Innumerable midnight Dolores Park walks, some triumphant and joyous, others in clouded in despair and confusion, and more just the routine of walking home from yoga.

This period of side-questing aimed to explore an impossible question: “What do I live for?” Perhaps also: “What am I missing?” I approached these six months with a prospecting attitude, open to the universe’s revelations. I had the opportunity to go to India with Roots Studio, a social enterprise that works with indigenous artists around the world, and I was awed by the depth of the work and the differences in everyone’s experience of life. I made some wonderful friends with the brilliant minds of the MAP fellowship, and found myself in joyful convergence with people who care about the world and have the means to do something about it. And I was silly too, filming a spy-themed music video, dancing with the best disco ball in SF, running into the ocean at night. There is so much to love and to live.

Why is the era over then? Really, it is because I am ready to take on a sustained, long term project; I want to own the outcome of what I do, and I have it in me now to dedicate time, energy, and focus. I feel conviction about what my focus should be, in the intersection between tech and humanities. More on this next time.

Three Big Learnings from the last six months:

1. Show up: Just be there every day.

2. Define the future: Set intentions clearly.

3. Mop the floors: Enjoy the details.

Show Up: Just be there every day

Honestly, you may ask me, “Shannon, how did you become a fucking yoga teacher?” I’d say: “I have no fucking idea!” Did I even do yoga before?

On a fellowship with Big Picture Living, a nonprofit working to bring healthy living practices to kids, I had a professional development budget to use. I proposed Yoga Teacher Training — what better way to learn about healthy living and education than to become a yoga teacher? I tried BP Living’s organizational thesis of total lifestyle change with 200 hours of yoga in nine weeks.

Just showing up to everything was more than enough. For example, there is a transition in yoga called the chattaranga (high plank —> low plank —> upward facing dog —> downward facing dog); when I started, I could only take it on my knees, and now, I can do it for real. Showing up is something I have struggled with, subconsciously belittling the engagement of just going to something every single week as repetitive or boring. I’ve noticed time and time again though, how I am better when I am not only inspired, but also consistent.

Define the future: Set intentions clearly.

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in the last few months was in my work at Roots Studio. The organization is a social enterprise that works with indigenous artists around the world, and it’s an incredible mission and a great niche. I had an incredible opportunity to go to India, meet some of the artists, and explore questions of development, culture, and society.

We had an event in San Francisco, where I was overjoyed to share our work with so many good friends. It was a resoundingly beautiful event, but it didn’t do what it needed to do — we lost sight of the longer term goals of why we were there: to live up to the art as a business venture. The feeling and energy in the room should be guided by the purpose, rather than the other way around.

My key lesson for all endeavors is to set the intention very clearly, to be decisive and specific when determining what is needed, and to help guide my leaders to this crispness in decision making and goal settings.

Mop your own floors: Enjoy the details.

Sometimes growing older is actually becoming more childish. Entitlement grew in me: that everything seemed clean enough, that I should just be able to wake up whenever I wanted, that the world should align to my needs and desires, that everyone should see things the way I see them.

In this intransigence, sloth gripped me.

For an event, I hired three excellent local musicians who fully exceeded expectations. I reached out to possibly forty more with the ask of whether or not they were interested; on the day before the event, a musician who I did not book — we had not confirmed time or compensation, and we certainly did not have a contract — told me they had cancelled work to be at the event. We already had a full lineup, but they demanded to be paid for their time, saying I had cancelled on them. While I didn’t believe there was any malpractice, I ended up paying them. If someone is so pressed about $100, they probably really need it. I took responsibility for miscommunication, saying that in the future, I’ll clarify exactly when something is booked, or not. Still, I felt I was wronged too.

How silly though. It’s a small payment for the big lesson I was given: to be specific in communication, to remember who I’m talking to and their context, to mop my own floors and take responsibility, and to let things go.

But really, mop the floors. After each yoga class, a corepower teacher will mop the floors and clean used mats. I’ve come to enjoy this ritual of owning the entire experience, and making community with those who teach before and teach after you, and those who are being taught.

Highlights of the last six months, in chronological order:

• Made a T-Shirt Quilt, of t-shirts saved from elementary school to college. Learned to sew as a byproduct

• Heard wild and extraordinary First Nation stories in Vancouver’s Stanley Park

• Manifested a “15 toasts” dinner with Esmeralda, at the MAP fellowship kickoff. Shoutout to Priya Parker

• Lived Emilia’s life with her for a week in Miami: pools, pilates, and dinner parties

• Taught my first ever writing workshop with the Carl Sandburg House

• Went mushroom hunting at Salt Point with Andrea

• Visited India with Roots Studio, met Bhil and Warli artists in their villages

• Tea-plantation-hopped through Munnar, in the state of Kerala

• Attended my first SXSW in Austin, where I hung out with Natalie, eating garlic knots and sweating in the Texas Sun

• Surfed in Sayulita for my birthday with Erika and Clara. Then later, hosted a 25 for 25 birthday dinner, where everyone gave a beautiful toast :)

• Traipsed through New York with Aashika, Aarti, and Jasmine

• Created three events for Roots Studio, sharing the wonderful art

• Edited Apianionated, the Asian American column in Anomalous Press

• Led the Strategic Planning Committee at CounterPulse

• Became a Yoga Teacher

• Hosted a Tea Tasting with Erika

• Starred in a spy-themed music video for Nick’s amazing music

• Helped orchestrate Big Picture Living Day with the kids of the MET School in Providence and Dr. Danique Dolly

• Became a Mentor for All Tech is Human

• Won the People’s Hackathon at the Kapor Center

• Gave a speech for the MAP fellowship closing in DC.

So very grateful for these six months, for the amazing people I’ve met, and for the gift of time and space. I’m filled with wonder and thanks.

There’s a conviction in my chest I haven’t felt in ages. Onto the Main Quest!